the best part of me was always you...

I'm tired of worrying about my future. More importantly, I'm tired of worrying about whether I will ever meet someone or not.

I guess I'm hopeful. I'm ready for this to work out, more ready than I'll ever be. but I guess it's not right. I'm losing hope - i'm almost done believing that it will ever happen.

I'm tired of pursuing things that never come to pass. I'm tired of hurting myself in the long run. I'm tired of boys hurting me.

I get discouraged so easily. I'm tired of being defined by who I am with. I need to work on myself. I need to learn how to worship my king asking nothing in return. He's already given me an abundant life. I shouldn't expect anything in return. I need to find my beauty in Him, my joy in Him, my passions... in Him. Not to please others.




yep. this is hard.

Burning in my heart.

Lord, I knew you would do this. My heart is burning.. and is aching...

Ever since I got back from my first trip to Asia - my heart has been so burdened for those people - the people I hung out with everyday.. I want to be with them. I want to love them with a love that I'm still trying to figure out how it applies to me. This is my heart, and lately... it's all I can think about. It consumes my thoughts and my mind.

When I was younger - I told God, "I'll follow you to the ends of the earth.... i mean... well, I'll follow you where you lead... within my reason.

Now, everything is changing. Living this "ordinary christian life" has turned out to be a myth. Ordinary and Christian can't fit together in a sentence properly. It may even make me sick thinking about it.

I want to proclaim with my heart that Christ has risen. I want to do this... wherever he leads.
anywhere.

What IF i'm called to serve in asia? What IF I'm called to serve in Nebraska? What IF I'm called to serve him in a slum? In a wealthy neighborhood? Father, give me eyes to see where you call me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ywtai008hGM






To the ends of the earth