If God's will was the fence, I was walking right next to it.
It hit me today: If we are walking in God's will - we don't need to search, look, or try to be "found" or "complete" in someone. My good friend Kevin was giving me some relationship advice.. and it really sunk in. If I am seeking passionately after the heart of God, and my future husband (wherever he may or may not be) is passionatley seeking the heart of God... there will be no question.
For the past four years, I have been "on and off" dating with a boy. Four years ago, he was the MAN of my DREAMS! Our families thought the same... to add on top of it. Since then, I've planned my life around him. And i know... all you out there are throwing up your flags for me. I gotcha.. it just took me longer to learn. Anyways, in January, words were exchanged between us. I considered leaving OBU to move home and be with him. I decided that wasn't smart; we would just spend summer together this summer. Please realize that this is taking me out of any ministry opportunity that could cross my path. I decided not to go back to falls creek, because I wanted to be with him.
It hit me.
I was giving up who I was... and who Christ has called me to be, and what Christ has called me to do... for this........ boy.
I am ashamed of myself daily. I can't believe I let my emotions get that far ahead of my mindset with Christ in it.
I called everything in the world off with him. which is honestly one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. To not have him in my life is so different and mysterious to me. I don't know how to act around guys any more. I don't know even where to start... because I have always had this mindset that I didn't need to worry about it, I had him.
God's will is sometimes the suckiest thing in the world (well, at the current time). I must say that sometimes, I don't trust God enough to give him the things that I care most about. Boy, have I learned my lesson. Letting go of my will.... and leaving my hands open for His.
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"Pure And Undefiled Religion"
"Pure religion and undefiled before G-D The Father is this, to visit the fatherless (those children who know not their Father, HE WHO is The Only True G-D, Father{Creator} of ALL) and widows(those who have not "experienced The Messiah and The Power{Our Father} that raised Him from among the dead") in their affliction and to keep oneself uncontaminated by the world......." (James 1:27)
Simply, all other religion is impure and defiled.......
And notice that "pure and undefiled" religion is "oneself(individual)", a Brother or Sister doing The Will of Our Father, led of The Holy, Set Apart, Spirit.......
Simply, corporate "religion" is pagan and of this wicked world.......
And "Brothers and Sisters" is not "religion", for what are Brothers and Sisters if not Family? Would not The Family of The Only True G-D, Father(Creator) of ALL, "The Body of The Messiah", be much closer than a natural, fleshly family?
What is declared to be "religion" today is truly the devil's playground.......
Simply, Faith will not create a system of religion.......
Hope is there would be those who take heed unto The Call of The Only True G-D to "Come Out of her, MY people"!
For they will "Come Out" of this wicked world(babylon) and it's systems of religion, and enter into "the Liberty that is glorious for The Children of The Only True G-D".
And so it is that they will no longer be of those who are destroying the earth(land, air, water, vegetation, creatures)" and perverting that which is Spirit(Light, Truth, Life, Love, Peace, Hope, Faith, Mercy, Grace, Miracles, etc.).......
Peace, in spite of the dis-ease(no-peace) that is of this world and it's systems of religion, for "the WHOLE(not just a portion) world is under the control of the evil one" (1John5:19) indeed and Truth.......
Truth is never ending.......
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