I walked into my third year of college with confidence of making some sort of impact. Ready for Father to start revival, ready for him to really work in my life.
At that point, I didn't realize that the almighty God working in our lives wasn't always happy and joyful.
Through this past year; I've grown. I've been to places this year part of me wishes I hadn't. I've seen the depths of the pits, and been pushed in a swamp with alligators. but I've also seen the sun set in the most beautiful place imaginable, watch a flower bloom, and stand on the top of a mountain in sheer silence watching the world as it works.
This year, I lost some good friends. Some really, really good friends. I lost the person I thought would be my maid of honor. I lost the man I thought I was going to marry. It's funny, when you think about it. The closest people in my life, God ripped right out of my hands. The weird part is, I don't miss them as much as I should. There are days of course... but then there are others where I see God's purpose, protection, and plan in losing such dear, dear people to me.
This year, my heart got smashed on. Maybe the hardest it has ever gotten hurt. From hearing, "Sorry, I knew I was leading you on..." to "I think we should just be friends... I'm interested in your best friend"... man. It hurts still thinking about it. But somehow in that mess of broken hearts... God protected me... from getting hurt worse if I had really allowed those men into my heart. Father saved me from giving a piece of myself away.
I learned this year, that God sometimes takes really, really, really good things out of our lives. He doesn't just ask us to give Him the things that are hurting our relationship with Him - he takes everything he can from us to mold us and shape us into who we are called to be. and it HURTS. It hurts to be on the potters wheel... allowing him to bend us in a direction we didn't think he would go.
I have learned how to wait. Be patient. The man of my dreams - he'll come one day. He is going to sweep me off my feet, and ask me to dance in the middle of the street right after it rains. He's going to romance me - but I don't need him right now. I've got a life to live, you know?
Most of all, I've learned how to love and trust our almighty God through hardships. Loving him - because we know that these hardships are apart of his plan. His good, perfect, plan.
Everything is a part of the most High God's plan. Everything. And it always turns out for the better.
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