I went home this weekend.

It was exactly what I needed. Away from OBU, really helped me sort through my emotions/feelings. I have discovered, though, I have become so depressed this year. I don't know if it's stress, lost friendships, or just a change of scenery. I have found that I am completley unhappy with anything except for my gracious heavenly Father. I haven't hit rock-bottom like this in a very, very long time. I can assure you of that. I've forgotten what it feels like to plead the Lord.

I don't know what I'm going to do with my life. This is very frustrating to me. I thought elementary ed. But, praying about it.. I don't have a surpassing peace that I should do that for the rest of my life. What I want to study, Bible or Biblical Languages, is so very interesting to me. Historically seeing where the bible is coming from is so wonderful to me. But, lets remember that I am a woman, and women are discouraged from being in the ministry. I don't know where the world got the idea that women can only be missionaries or pastors wives, but I strive to teach truth to girls and women. This is where my heart is. Do I get a business degree so I can actually have a job when I graduate? I've also thought about Pre-Dentistry. I've always loved teeth, and I really enjoy smiling, and I wish everyone would smile. I think it's a great way to share Christ's love.
If I did Pre-Dentistry, I would have to leave OBU after I finished that part of the degree, and move on to OU Medical Center Dentistry School to become a dental hygenist.

Also, if I still don't know what I want to even major in by the end of J-Term next year... do I drop out of school, so I'm not wasting my time and money dabbling in areas that I first like and once I study I don't?

Let me tell ya. Growing up is hard. I have never even wished upon myself I would say this again, but I wish I were back in highschool... Lame, I know.